Today I want to write about conflict management and being goal-oriented. When searching for conflict management techniques you will often find the rather complicated Harvard Method. In this article I want to offer a much simpler method (I heard about it in some seminar, if somebody knows the name please tell me!).
The rude customer
Let’s start with a story. Let’s say you are at work and a customer calls you. Maybe he had a bad day and is rude on the phone. So what is your goal? To sell products or something or to get in a fight with a customer? It is important to focus on the goal.
Let’s look at this picture:
To follow your instincts is not always good advice
At first you are at the start. The customer calls you and your goal is to sell your products. The customer distracts you, he pushes you away from your goal by being rude (“Interference”). I invite you to try to remember your goal and try go back where you want to go. Often people forget their goals and end up in a totally different place where they did not plan to be. So this is also a simple technique to avoid or solve conflicts.
Question of honor?
Maybe you are now asking: But if he is aggressive to me and I don’t fight back he will loose his respect for me? Yes and no. Of course if you see a person again or have some kind of relationship it might be important that you don’t get in a submissive position where you end up being constantly used by another person (maybe even without bad intentions of the other person). But sometimes it might serve your goal to do something for another person to reach some kind of personal goal even if you know and many people tell you, that this person is just using you.
For example you might choose to work for a company in a serving position to learn as much as you can. The important thing is that you don’t forget your goal along the way and to quit when you cannot learn more. See it that way: Maybe if you don’t do these things you might get other people to do it (for you) – like with delegation – but it could also happen that you do not reach your goal at all!
Please tell me in the comments what you think and if you have any story to share, I am happy to discuss it.